Leadership Conversation is a five-part series. Though each post in the series stands alone, please refer to the first topic below on Fearlessness if you want to start at the beginning.
What is My Definition of Authenticity?
Authenticity is closely tied with fearlessness. It's exercising leadership that REEKS of the essence of YOU! How far does it reach, you ask? Everywhere the light touches. It can be your dialect, where you're from, your unique tastes, the references that you make, your idiosyncrasies, your mannerisms that comes forth as you speak, guide, and lead others. You're just being you. Additionally, authenticity is genuineness. It's tangible. When you speak, people can feel that it's not rehearsed and that you're talking through a lived experience.
You're not just giving a speech, you're giving a testimony.
The best representation of this concept is Billy Porter's church scene in "Pose". Billy Porter's character "Praytell" went home to his family after a hard year in New York. He was talked into visiting his old church and singing once more since he was a star in the choir in his youth. When you're watching him sing "This Day", it starts off with him singing the song, though impressively, but with the typical runs and affectations this song is due. Soon after, around 1 minute and 30 seconds, a change hits. Billy Porter confirms this in interviews, but at this point, this man is no longer singing as "Praytell". He's singing from his own truth, pain and anguish as a black gay man. And then, 2 minutes and 25 seconds in, the doors are blown back and Billy Porter fully takes over. The effect of this switch gets the entire church up on their feet with various emotions: love, respect, full tears of empathy, and awe. The group can feel what Billy Porter is feeling.
THAT is authenticity.
Of course, we have to go into what authenticity isn't.
Authenticity is not a guarantee that you will be accepted. No one has an obligation to like you.
In living your truth, it doesn't mean that people will be happy with the "real" you bouncing around in their faces. We're all human and we all have preferences. I'm a very gregarious woman that loves kpop that slips into my Texas twang every now and again. For some people, I'm the breath of fresh air that they needed! I'm the sunshine and I'm giving them LIFE. For others, I'm as grating as nails on a chalkboard and it's taking everything in them not to throw me off a bridge. Yet, I can still live in this world knowing that both realities exist.
Authenticity is not the same as "truth vomit".
You do not have to share your deepest darkest secrets with everyone at work for the sake of being authentic. You don't have to take every opportunity to share your innermost soul or your scariest moment. In order to successfully be authentic, you still have to be comfortable. It is your choice how and when you can share you truth, and it shouldn't be coerced or forced. Also, it can become a lot! You have to be mindful of your coworker's comfort level as well. Imagine if every day someone approaches you and shares a childhood trauma. Each and every day. Though you might appreciate a person's vulnerability, it can also just be overwhelming. If you need an example, look no further than Kelly Kapoor from the Office...
Why is Authenticity Important?
What endears us to a Simon Sinek, Greta Thunberg, Zendaya, Lizzo?
Yes, they are talented and have unique leadership qualities but overall they endear us through their ability to tell their personal truths. Leveraging a personal story to explain a finer point. Self-deprecation to show humility. Showing your natural hair at an upscale red-carpet event. Leveraging bluntness derived from aspects of selective mutism to challenge world leaders in public forums to impact climate change. All of these techniques are ways to incorporate their personalities, backgrounds and truths into their leadership style which contributes to authenticity. When Simon tells a story or describes a concept, don't you believe him? When Greta speaks, don't you understand exactly what she's trying to do and the problem with climate change at hand? When Zendaya walks across the red carpet or acts in a Blockbuster movie with braids, curly natural hair, and brown skin, doesn't the options for a little girl with similar features change? When Lizzo sings about laughing and smiling in spite of pain, don't you want to join her?
At a micro level, leaders can be aspirational but role models often are chosen because of their ability to relate to others. People can see themselves in them. If these leaders are able to achieve a modicum of success, people that are looking up to them have inspiration and believe that they can achieve the same. As a leader of a team or an organization, this belief makes people to do more, raise the bar, accept your failures, and most, importantly, trust you. Simon, himself, touches on this exact point.
At a macro level, authenticity in leadership can impact society, not only in challenging social norms or stereotypes but also the mindset that is available through expanding the options of what a leader can be and what the world can actually do. Can you see, now, why authenticity ties to fearlessness? No matter where you are from, we are taught, initially, to note and understand the social norms around us. When we enter Corporate America, there is at times an expectation of how to learn, to dress, to speak. Sometimes, it's in order to command respect of those around you. Other times, it's to fit in or be considered a good worker. However, as you learn later on, you can still do these things while injecting a healthy dose of you in the mix.
I can't move on without an example! Look no further in the power of impactful speech combined with authenticity than Lizzo as she does a Ted Talk on Twerking. Yes, you heard me, twerking. Lizzo, a Ted Talk, on twerking. Note: This is not necessarily safe for work. She's talking about ass a lot! But it's about her confidence and her relatable nature delivering an admittedly silly topic with an impactful societal message. She turned it into an education piece about the history of twerking in Africa, the popularization by Black people in American Southern culture, the exploitation by pop culture, and the reclamation and ownership of it for her own self-expression of love and joy.
What Amazonian Leadership Principle Does Authenticity Tie To?
There are two Amazonian Leadership Principles that I've tied to Authenticity: Earn Trust and Strive to be Earth's Best Employer.
Earn Trust: Leaders listen attentively, speak candidly, and treat others respectfully. They are vocally self-critical, even when doing so is awkward or embarrassing. Leaders do not believe their or their team’s body odor smells of perfume. They benchmark themselves and their teams against the best.
Strive to be Earth's Best Employer: Leaders work every day to create a safer, more productive, higher performing, more diverse, and more just work environment. They lead with empathy, have fun at work, and make it easy for others to have fun. Leaders ask themselves: Are my fellow employees growing? Are they empowered? Are they ready for what's next? Leaders have a vision for and commitment to their employees' personal success, whether that be at Amazon or elsewhere.
These leadership principles correlate to authenticity because it requires Amazonians to be self-aware, be vocal about their failures and openly strive for the best. Leading with empathy implies that you are open with your coworkers about yourself which helps you to invest in their careers and well-being.
How Did Authenticity Manifest For Me?
As a teenager in the early 2000s (cue the Linkin Park, Aaliyah and Britney Spears), I was a weird Venn diagram of an avid gamer, a studious academic in a Science & Tech Program, and a diligent anime lover (cue Dragonball Z, and Sailor Moon for the Toonami fans). I was hitting Missy Elliott dance moves in my basement in the afternoon, and tagging random train cars and bridges by night. Let's just say I didn't know who I was especially in mostly black school in Prince George's County, Maryland. The one thing that I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, was that I was really happy.
I'm not talking about a little happy. I mean, in your face, thunderstorm on your window pane but I can see a peak of sunlight kind of happy/optimistic. You would think that it would make me the bell of the ball. NOPE! In an angsty Evanescence kind of world, I was just plain weird, especially my sophomore year in high school when I was trying to find myself. I was in a variety of cliques, clubs and sports groups because of my eclectic tastes and it was reiterated to me on multiple occasions. I remember going to a late night tagging session with my HotTopic wearing Goth crew (we were an angsty bunch) and I was skipping with my spray cans to an abandoned building to practice my new lines. One of the only few girls in the group held me back and confronted me.
"Look this isn't work, girl." She said with her purple matte lipstick (I still remember her being the coolest being ever to hang out with).
"Why, what's going on? I got new spray paint so it has a stronger finish..." I start to ramble thinking she's talking about my spray cans that were getting a little sparse, which meant I had to shake it harder to get a consistent spray.
"Naw, I'm saying you in this group. You're not fitting the vibe."
I looked myself up and down and I was confused. I had the clothes (went shopping at St. Charles Mall with my fave girl Shida and caught up on all the post 90s punk attire). Chain belt, check. Black bellbottoms with too many pockets. Check. An anime black t-shirt (supposed to be ironic). Check. A flannel button down. Check. Thick knee-high boots. Check. What was wrong?
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She looked at what I was looking at and shook her head, "It's not about the clothes. It's just...ugh...your chipper personality is not doing it for us. Like it's too much. We're doing a thing here and it's messing up the flow. It's too preppy."
I cocked my head to the side, "But I'm not..."
"Doesn't matter." She cut me off, "I'm not saying you have to leave the group or anything right now. Just figure your shit out and get with the program or find another group to hang out with." She stalked off and left me there.
I stood in place for awhile and I debated catching up with the group. Ultimately, I turned right around and went home. I didn't cry really, but my mom came home to me with my face glued to the TV watching a re-run of Sailor Moon and giving lackluster answers to her nagging questions. I can say that I was really confused. Looking back on the incident, it was a good kind of confusion. I didn't really care about fitting in or confirming EXACTLY the way people wanted me to. I can appreciate this feeling currently as a WAY more mature response that I gave myself credit for back then. I didn't care about people necessarily liking me, because I knew from an early age that I couldn't please everybody.
All I cared about was that I was understood as a person.
I did a logical flow in my head of all the different scenarios and paths that I could take in my life. I quickly resolved that I would be much happier in my life if I stayed true to myself and stopped trying to float amongst the cliques. Instead I would make a home with the people that naturally gravitated to me. Thus, I put aside the head to toe goth gear (I was spending too much of my hard-earned allowance on Hot Topic anyway), kept some statement pieces, and went to school just being the best version of me that I could at the time. I laughed, made video game/anime references, talked to who I wanted to talk to and over junior year, I had a good group of friends that still I'm still close with to this day! Now was I popular? HELL NO! I was still every bit of a nerd. But I truly enjoyed my high school years! I checked off all the basic milestones of an American high school past-time: house parties, dances, boyfriends, and drama.
This philosophy carried me through from college to Corporate America. I minored in Dance Production, Stage Lighting and Design because I wanted to. In introductions to new coworkers, I told them that I still played video games and loved RuPaul's Drag Race while rocking my hair in braids or a natural afro. I got used to people giving me confused looks or telling me to be more mature or professional. I noted it but I pretty much ignored it. It was clear to me that no matter what anyone thought, I would stay true to who I was and be vocally honest about it. As I progressed to management, team members that wanted to bond with me knew that I didn't want to meet them on the golf course. I would be in Annandale in a karaoke club. I wanted to talk about the latest Final Fantasy installment or Beyonce's new album. I became a new kind of leader and the typical tropes of leadership just didn't work for me. What surprised me was when there were 10 people that criticized my personality or preferences, there were 50 more people that either congratulated me for it or were encouraged to be more authentic themselves based on my example. Once I found people to look up to that exemplified authentic leadership, there was nothing stopping me!
What is an Example of Successful Authenticity in Others?
Lucky for me, there were a lot of examples of genuine people that bared themselves in an unrehearsed way to inspire others. Now that we're in the 21st century, it makes sense that we're living in a time when authenticity and uniquenes most celebrated. I was able to narrow down the field to the leaders that exemplified authenticity most present in my mind.
Tara Chambers is a Chief Auditor at Citigroup but when she was at EY, a breath of fresh air was an understatement. I remember when I was a Senior Consultant and I was invited to an EY hosted Diversity Conference for freshmen and sophomores in college. I was selected by the affinity network aligned to black professionals in the office to attend and I was assigned to a table to greet the would-be new comers and give them encouragement to pursue a career in public accounting. I thought I was going to show them the ropes during this conference and inspire some young minds. Little did I know that my world would change. They announced Tara, then a Senior Manager. My eyes widened when I saw a black woman with natural hair coiffed, the brightest smile I've ever seen, who greeted the room before she was miked with a "HEY!" Her voice reverberated throughout the room and bounced back into my ears. Now don't ask me what she said, I honestly can't even remember. But I remember her presence. She was loud, self-deprecating, honest and FUNNY. She was a story teller and used all of her powers of persuasion in that speech. When she revealed that she traveled all around the world and was a DJ on the side, it was over. I wanted her to be my friend. I wanted her to know who I was. Damn it, I wanted to be HER! It was like I found my tribe. When she took questions from the audience, I sat on my hands so I didn't take the opportunity from a student and use it as my own ode to Tara. Before the last question finished, I snuck around to the side of the stage to greet her when she got off since there was a break before the next speaker. I got so nervous when our eyes locked as she was coming down the steps and when she grabbed my hands and greeted me, I blurted out "Are we sisters? Have we met in a past life?"
I could've been mortified but she threw her head back and laughed, "We might have! What's your name?" In 30 seconds, I managed to tell her everything about me but I ended with "You are so amazing. I just didn't know a person like you existed killing it in a company like this." "You'd be surprised. Let's connect." Over the next few years, Tara would become one of my first mentors. We wouldn't talk often but every milestone in my career, there she was. We would text time to time over Game of Thrones spoilers. But she wasn't the kind of mentor where I needed her guidance all the time. The fact that she was thriving. The fact that I would see her awarded and applauded for her efforts.
The fact that she existed. That was enough for me.
From an Amazon perspective, there are countless authentic leaders. Of course, it's a part of the culture. But if you're looking for an example of someone smart, innovative while remaining completely and unequivocally true to their core, look no further than the Amazon Chief Technology Officer (CTO) & Vice President, Werner Vogels. He's a man of many interests including engineer, architect, scientist, programmer, troublemaker, executive, revisionist, investor, mentor, advisor, analyst, academic, sales guy, entrepreneur, data analyst, system administrator, product owner, evangelist, debater, father, musician and biker. That's really just a few. Above all, he's as real as it gets. On his current LinkedIn, he says,
"I don't deal well with bullshit and incompetence."
If that's not real, I don't know what is. I always look forward to his re:Invent Keynotes with his band t-shirts and bold sneakers. Even though I knew that several people painstakingly labored over his speeches (re:Invent is a big undertaking), I knew that he injected a special dose of himself to make that speech pop. Take a look Werner Vogels, the man, the legend during a fireside chat below.
How do Leaders Develop Authenticity?
This section was probably the hardest to write and led to the most procrastination in writing a blog post that I've ever had. I wanted to make sure that I was actually giving truly effective advice working backwards over my years of professional development. It's too easy to say "Just Do You" and, hell, there's no cheat-code that really exists to developing this leadership trait. However, there are some basic methods that I don't think I could've skipped over.
1. Understand Your "Why" Through Self-Reflection
I mentioned this in on of my posts late last year while describing why I left the Big Four.
Long breaks from work provide perspective and is an excellent time to decipher the meaning and direction of one's career.
In the post, the context was maternity leave but to be honest, a long break is needed regardless of the reason. I really want to normalize taking a break even if it's just for your mental health or sanity. Call it maintenance. I don't give a crap. I've never heard anyone coming back from a self-imposed break and saying "That was too long. I didn't need that. It was a waste of time." It just doesn't happen. Not never in the land of neverdom. Taking time off provides an opportunity to take stock of your life and your career. In other words, self-reflection.
Self-reflection is a logical first step on the path to authenticity. What do you actually care about? What are your hobbies and interests? What are the parts of your personality that you want people to be aware of? How do you want people to interact with you? For some people, this would tie the most with your "brand", but it can be deeper than that. What gets you out of bed in the morning? What makes you tick? After all, how can you be authentic, if you don't know who you are and what drives you?
2. Determine What You're Not Going to Compromise On
A Partner at EY told me a story once. Side note: Why do we say someone once told me a story? It's never the one and only time someone is going to tell you a story! It's like you've been rationed story telling and the ONE time you're finally getting a story once upon a random spanse of time. You are trapped in a well and you can only live by someone telling you stories but no more than one or the water will rise. Okay I'm on a tangent. Reigning it back in. Authenticity!
This partner told me a story at a meeting of the Black Professional Network (BPN), an affinity network within EY. I honestly forgot the original question that was asked but this story still resonated with me over 5 years later. His father was a caddy at a country club and because of the way he was treated, this partner made the executive self decision to not be a member at any country club that he was offered to attend. Now this might seem like it wasn't a big deal but those on the partner track, most clients or influential personnel were members of country clubs. If you're not on the golf course or a tennis court, at some exclusive country club, you could be missing out on new connections or opportunities for additional contracts and work. Would it have made him Partner sooner? Probably. Would he have gotten larger deals earlier on? Maybe. The biggest concept that resonated was that he knew that, understood the known loss from his decision, and still stuck to this decision to that day. It didn't change his trajectory. He still became one of the most influential and successful partners in the company. But he didn't compromise.
Now, as a leader, what will you not compromise on? It doesn't have to be the same as this partner, but what is the thing about you that you're not willing to sacrifice? Is it a value? A conviction? A personality trait? It can't be something as simple as "not selling out." It's too vague and it's not personal. It can't be rooted based on what someone else can perceive of you. It has to be something inherit to you and your principles that you can stand behind. In adherence to the story, it has to be something that's worth losing something for. I'm not saying that you have to make up something, but if you figure it out as a leader, you should share it with your peers. In sharing your preferences, your story and your convictions, people learn a lot more about you as a person and what you stand for. Who knows? Your peers or direct reports might walk away looking at you just like I looked at this partner.
With respect.
You're probably wondering why I won't reveal the name of this partner. You're going to have to wait until the Executive Presence post later on (whenever I get to it).
3. Develop Self-Awareness and a Thick Skin Through Feedback
Now after developing that brand, your self-imposed "Why", you really need to understand if you're walking like you're talking (credit to Migos). Part of being authentic is knowing exactly what you need to work on. Thus,
You should ask for feedback early and often.
As a leader, you have to provide an opportunity for your ideas and your leadership to be criticized by your supervisors, your peers and your direct reports. It doesn't mean that you necessarily have to address your ideas or your style based on what they tell you, but you should at least acknowledge it. You should know if your style rubs people the wrong way or prevents you from receiving certain opportunities. What you do with that information is then your choice. At least you're not operating blind.
Now asking directly for feedback goes hand in hand with having thick skin or fearlessness. I know for a fact I still struggle with this concept. It's hard to be told the truth, especially when it's about something core to who you are. But the more you ask, the easier it becomes. Not that it hurts any less but you get more comfortable with asking, receiving and incorporating that feedback. The burn is there, but it goes away a little faster once you understand that it's a part of the process to you becoming a better you.
If you're looking for creative ways to solicit feedback, I fully endorse mentimeter. It allows you to add quizzes, interactive presentation slides, word clouds, bar charts and WAY more. If I'm trying to understand how a group of people understand my leadership style while they can feel comfortable providing real answers anonymously, I use it. A quick introduction to Mentimeter is below.
4. Embed Your Personality Into Your Speeches and Presentations
You got a favorite meme? Got a George Carlin joke that speaks to you? You might think you know where this is going but DON'T put it in your presentation. Not because it doesn't speak to authenticity, I just can't stand memes and George Carlin is sometimes too blunt for me. I'm kidding! If that's your thing, make it work! Ultimately, in giving a truly authentic presentation,
Please, don't be a parrot.
Don't just read a speech or presentation verbatim with no inflection or personality. Do you have a catch phrase? Do you have an original approach? Find a way to work it into your speech or presentation even if it's scripted. When you insert an original analogy or thought provoking saying, even if everything else is previously orchestrated or a canned presentation it ties things together and you start to own that presentation. Adding your own "sauce" brings even more validity to the message because it feels "lived" and not "parroted".
In conclusion, every leader should know where they are on the authenticity spectrum. Leaders enlist trust when they show who they are, what they are about, what they stand for, and what matters to them. People can find ways to connect and ultimately work harder for an authentic leader. For me personally, being an authentic leader helps me sleep at night. To commemorate finally finishing this post and celebrating the full spirit of Authenticity, I have to bless you with the Migos featuring Drake, "Walk it Talk It" with full disco vibes. I should share, it is not safe for work so please don't blame me! Thank you all!
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